how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
