I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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