I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I can't put those talents on a resume
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize