3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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