Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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