Buhtt sex?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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