so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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