Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
