Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
