i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
