dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
