He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
