she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I forget how to act sober
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
