she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
