He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize