My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
