That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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