That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
