who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
