I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We talked him into tasing himself.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
