Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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