Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
