So drunk its hurt
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
