nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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