i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I just found puke in my bra..
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
