I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
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