can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
