just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
