It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
