he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
