So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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