Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize