i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
