Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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