What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
