I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
