Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
How does it feel to date your dad?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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