Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
