Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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