i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
