i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
