im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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