Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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