Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
