Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
