fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
