okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Every concussion has its silver lining
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
