We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize