its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Too much gin, very little bucket
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I need moral support for this bender
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
