my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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