We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
