Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
