I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
