That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
