chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
we're so committed to being not committed
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