life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Randomize