we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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