I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
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