How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
