I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
